Misun
I kept staring at Jungkook whose eyes had not left mine. He looked tired and stressed and worried but also relieved and full of love.
‘Hel… hello Kooks,’ I said, my voice coming out weaker than usual.
It hurt to speak but I had to. I had to talk to him. I had to tell him everything. I looked at him and realized that although he was smiling, he had tears in his eyes.
‘Hello baby girl,’ he said just as one tear fell. ‘I’m so happy to see you,’ he said. His voice seemed to crack a bit.
‘I’m happy to see you too,’ I said. I went to sit up, but instantly white, blinding pain seemed to hit from everywhere. I cried out while Jungkook just rushed next to me.
‘What’s wrong? Be careful! Are you in pain?’ he asked one question after the other. I closed my eyes and took a calming breath. God that felt like I got hit with a truck.
‘Can…can you help me up?’ I asked. He frowned but nodded. He moved with ease as he put his hands under my armpits and just pulled me up in a sitting position. He quickly fixed the pillows behind me so that I could have support.
He sat on the bed, right next to me as he took my hand in his. ‘You have to be careful princess. You were shot three times,’ he reminded me. I gulped and nodded.
‘Yeah…I…well can’t say I forgot but you know,’ I mumbled awkwardly as I shrugged. He nodded before he frowned again.
‘You promised me you’ll be careful,’ he said with a pout. I bit my lower lip as he lifted his head and looked at me. ‘Do you know how scared I was?’ he asked. His voice was quiet and any sign of humour was gone. Instead, there was concern and pure fear. I could tell he was struggling to just not start crying.
‘I’m sorry Jungkook,’ I said. He sighed and shook his head.
‘I thought…I thought we both learned our lesson years ago with that fire,’ he said. I gulped, knowing he was right. ‘When Jace told us, I…I didn’t know what to think. I knew what I could find but I kept hoping that you were safe,’ he said.
‘Jungkook…’ I whispered but it was almost as if he did not hear me.
‘When we got there and I saw you on the floor, blood just coming out, I…it felt like my whole world was collapsing Misun,’ he said.
‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I made you go through that,’ I said as I squeezed his hand.
‘The last time I felt this scared was when I saw you in a hospital bed with that burn but back then, I knew you were going to be okay. This time, this time I felt like I was losing you with every second that passed. You just… you laid there, barely moving, barely breathing, bleeding out and coughing out blood,’ he said as his tears did finally come out.
‘I know you must have been terrified. Honestly, I was too,’ I said as he looked at me. ‘It all happened so fast. One moment, I was in control, the next the second guy came and we exchanged fire and then I just felt this…this immense pain. I just felt my body falling,’ I said.
‘I can’t even begin to imagine what you must have felt. Side note, they’ve both been arrested,’ he said and I nodded.
‘Good,’ I said. ‘I’m glad. I’m glad they’re both alive so they can face jail time,’ I said.
‘What were you thinking going after them alone Misun? We both know that that is stupid,’ he said, a little angrily.
‘I know but at that moment, I just saw red. All I wanted was him and to make him feel scared and threatened and vulnerable like Natalie had felt but I didn’t want anyone to see that part of me. I know I’ll get reprimanded for it. There will be consequences to face for my actions and I didn’t want to drag anyone with me, not even you,’ I said.
‘Aish Misun. I would walk through fire with you,’ he said and I nodded.
‘I know,’ I said. There was a slight pause before he gave another squeeze.
‘You must have been scared. I can’t even begin to imagine what was going through your mind,’ he said.
‘What ran through my mind…’ I began before I took a deep breath, ‘besides fear, you,’ I said.
‘What?’ he asked surprised. I smiled and nodded. ‘You were thinking of me?’ he asked, his voice cracking once more.
‘Yeah. It was like all our memories together flashed before my eyes but then I was consumed with a lot of regrets. Regret of not….’ I paused again, unsure of what to say or rather how to say it.
‘Of not telling me the truth about your feelings?’ he asked and I nodded.
‘I realized that I loved you but I kept pushing you away. As I lay there, all I could think of was the fear of me dying and you not knowing how much you mean to me,’ I explained.
‘I’ve always known that I mean a lot to you. I think a part of me also knew you loved me and were pushing me away for some reason. I guess that’s why I kept chasing after you,’ he said with a chuckle.
‘I…I just…I was scared of letting you love me,’ I said and he nodded.
‘I know. Jace…he told me everything,’ he said. I could feel my eyes widen and my heart seemed to accelerate because the beeping on the machine seemed to increase. ‘Hey baby, calm down, it’s okay,’ he said but I shook my head.
‘You just know how messed up I am now,’ I said as my own tears fell down. He came closer and leaned down, placing his lips on mine in a gentle peck. I gasped in surprise and I felt him smile a little. He pulled back and wiped my tears with his thumbs.
‘NEVER, NEVER say that about yourself again,’ he said. I shook my head, ready to argue but he just placed another kiss. ‘Don’t,’ he mumbled into the kiss before he pulled away and cupped my face.
‘Jungkook,’ I said but he just put his forehead against mine. I could feel his hot breath on my face and this time my heart raced for a different reason.
‘I know how *ty your grandparents treated you. I know they blamed you for your parents’ death and your friend’s death. I know you think that Taemin being hurt at work was your fault, but none of these things were ever your fault,’ he said.
‘I…I don’t know Jungkook…I…people around me keep getting hurt,’ I said but he shook his head.
‘Everyone gets hurts sometimes Misun. Everyone loses someone important to them. everyone goes through * – we all do but it’s not your fault. You say people get hurt around you but what about the hundreds you’ve saved as a cop?’ he asked, making me stop for a moment.
‘Th—that’s different,’ I said but he shook his head and chuckled.
‘Not really. For those people, you’re their savour,’ he said. ‘The one who saved them, the one that gave them a second chance at life, the one who gave their life new meaning,’ he said.
‘I…I don’t want you getting hurt Jungkook…I…’ I began as I recalled their words which were so loud. I closed my eyes as they seemed to grow louder. No matter how much I tried to block them, they seemed to persist.
‘Hey, hey open your eyes and focus on me,’ he said. I did as he said and focused on his features – his doe eyes, his cute nose, his beautiful lips and the mole under his bottom lip. ‘That’s it,’ he said as he caressed my face gently. ‘I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking of their words. That you’re a curse and that you’re…unworthy of love but those are lies Misun,’ he said as some other tears just spilt over.
‘I want to be able to love you freely without all these negative thoughts and fears,’ I said and he nodded.
‘I know and you will. You might need some time but you’re not going to fight those thoughts alone anymore. I’m going to be there to remind you of how special you are each time. I’m going to be here, right next to you to remind you that no, you’re not cursed but a blessing in my life. I’m going to remind you that not only are you not unworthy but you deserve more than I can give you. I’m here to tell you that I will love you, completely, every day, for the rest of my life,’ he said.
‘Koo…’ I mumbled as I pulled him even closer and crashed my lips against his. ‘I want to be with you Koo,’ I mumbled into the kiss. He changed his position as he seemed to dominate over me as our kiss grew more intense. I could feel his desire, his sense of urgency in the way he seemed to consume me with a simple kiss. I went to move, but once again I was reminded that I had been shot.
The pain was blinding and breath-taking and not in a good sense. For a moment, it felt like my body forgot how to breathe. The pain seemed to come from everywhere as every part of my body felt as if it had been electrocuted.
‘Ahh,’ I cried out as I pulled back, my hand flying to my chest. Jungkook’s eyes widened as he placed his hand over mine.
‘What’s wrong? Are you getting chest pains?’ he asked clearly alarmed. I could hear it in his voice and see it swim in his eyes. I took a moment before I could speak.
‘No, no, I’m fine. I just…I think I moved too much,’ I admitted as I interlaced my hand into his.
‘Oh,’ he said as he blinked his eyes and rubbed his neck. ‘Sorry, it’s my fault. I got carried away. I’ve been waiting for that for so long, not to mention, I almost lost you,’ he said, causing me to smile.
‘Well, I’m here and I think,’ I said while he looked at me with anticipation. ‘I think it’s time for me to take the plunge – to risk it all. I want to be with you Jungkook, in every sense of the way,’ I said.
‘Oh baby, you have no idea how much I’ve longed to hear those words,’ he said as he approached me once more. ‘I’ll be careful,’ he whispered before he kissed me again.
I smiled into the kiss, feeling content and at peace. I knew it was going to be a long journey, of letting him love me and letting myself love me. I knew it was going to take a long time of healing and him believing in me for me to believe I was more than they said I was. Yet, I was not scared.
I continued to kiss him until a knock on the door forced us to both pull away. I stole a quick glance and saw his cheeks flushed red. I smiled as I saw all the boys piling in, along with the captain and chief while he held my hand tightly in his.
‘Misun, you’re finally awake,’ Jimin exclaimed as he approached and gave me a gentle, soft hug.
‘Yeah, I am,’ I said as I patted his back until he pulled away.
‘You had us worried and scared. Don’t ever do something like that again,’ Yoongi reprimanded. He held a certain glare in his eyes before they softened.
‘Hyung is right. You can’t just do things like that,’ Namjoon said shaking his head.
‘I know, I’m sorry guys. I’m sorry for cutting you off, for pushing you away and doing things on my own. I’m sorry for scaring you like that,’ I said as they nodded.
‘You’re forgiven as long as you promise not to do something like that ever again,’ Jin said, wiggling his finger in my direction.
‘Pinky promise,’ I said, showing my pinkie to them, earning a chuckle.
‘You better keep this promise Misun-ah. We’re a team, a family and we all stumble and fall sometimes but we need each other,’ Hoseok said as I nodded, somewhat moved by his words.
‘I know Hobi. we are indeed a family,’ I said as he nodded. I turned towards Taehyung who was looking away. ‘Tae?’ I asked. I saw him gulp and turned to look at me.
I gasped as I saw tears rolling down his cheeks. He forced himself to smile before he rushed to hug me. He hugged me tightly, tighter than he ever did before.
‘You scared me so much,’ he said as he squeezed harder. He trembled and shook in my arms which made me stare at him.
‘Tae, calm down, please,’ I said as I rubbed his back. He shook his head as he sobbed into my neck. ‘Tae-Tae?’ I called out.
‘I’m sorry. I…I wanted him to pay for what he did to Natalie but… but I forgot about everyone else,’ he cried out. ‘I put so much pressure on you,’ he said but I shook my head.
‘No, no Tae, please, please stop blaming yourself,’ I said as I went to push him slightly. Once again, I felt immense pain and I could not help but cry out in pain.
‘Misun? What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?’ Taehyung asked while Jungkook came closer. I shook my head and took a deep calming breath.
‘I’m okay. My body just hurts,’ I said as I reached for his hand. ‘Please don’t blame yourself. I know you were grieving but you didn’t put pressure on me. I’m the one who lost myself in wanting justice and well, revenge,’ I admitted as he looked at me. ‘Please, don’t ever blame yourself like that,’ I said.
He nodded before he gave me another gentle hug. I looked at the Captain and the Chief who had both given me time with the boys. The Chief stepped forward and Jungkook stood up, giving him space to sit down on the bed.
‘You scared everyone Misun with that crazy stunt you pulled,’ he said. I bowed my head slightly before I looked back at him. ‘You’re lucky to even be alive, I hope you know that,’ he said.
‘I do Chief and I am sorry for worrying you and I am sorry for breaking protocols and putting you in uncomfortable positions. Having said that, I’ll be honest and say I do not regret giving him a couple of punches,’ I said.
He smiled and shook his head before he let out a deep breath. ‘You did break all the rules Misun. You’ve left me no choice, you know that right?’ he asked and I nodded.
‘Wait! You’re not firing her right? Don’t tell me you’re firing her for this!’ Jungkook yelled, forcing the Chief to turn slightly. He raised one eyebrow, almost as if he was amused by his outburst.
‘Well no, but there are consequences to her actions Jungkook, no matter how noble they are,’ the Chief said.
‘Jungkook, it’s okay. I knew this was going to happen before I went to his house,’ I said as I turned to the Chief.
‘First thing first, you’re getting three months paid sick leave so you can recuperate. I will deal with that myself. After that, you’re going to be suspended for another three months, this time unpaid,’ he said and I nodded.
‘Sir,’ Jungkook said, taking another step forward. ‘I would like to request six months unpaid leave,’ he said.
‘Jungkook what are you doing?’ I asked, my eyes wide. I stared at him in shock, not having expected that to happen. The chief chuckled as he looked at the captain.
‘Seems I was right. I told you he will be doing that,’ Captain Sejin said, making me gasp a little.
‘I just want to spend some time with her. She needs someone to look after her and honestly, I want to spend some time with my girlfriend while she deals with this,’ he said.
‘Jungkook, you can’t do this,’ I said but he shook his head and approached the bed. He sat down, even though it was cramped. He took my hand in his and kissed it.
‘I can and I will. I told you, I’m not leaving you alone,’ he said, making me tear up.
‘I will grant the leave,’ the chief said as he looked at us. ‘As for your relationship,’ he said as I gulped. ‘Misun, I know you’re worried about the job. I overheard you talking once. I will allow it as long as it does not interfere with the work,’ he said as he gave both of us a smile.
